The Joy In Gathering

The Idea of “Finding” a Village

We hear people talk about how “it takes a village” or we just need to “find your village” all the time, but it’s just not quite as simple as it sounds. What does a village actually look like? How do you know if you have one? Or need one? Or more importantly, what does it feel like? Some people are surrounded by friends and family and always have someone to talk to. Some people are surrounded by friends and family and feel completely alone. So how do we go from where we are now to feeling seen, supported, and loved?

Villages Are Built, Not Found

We believe villages are actually deeply personal, and need to be built, slowly over time. Instead of looking around for a village to support you, we’d like to suggest you intentionally spend each day looking for ways to show up for others. Be a villager for someone you know, and open that door. Building intimacy and trust is a mutual experience, and we’ve come to find putting ourselves out there first is a great first step.

See People First

The best way to show up for someone in your life is to first see them. What are they spending their time on? What have they mentioned to you, either positively or negatively? Stepping in and providing help or support before it’s asked for doesn’t have to be big or overbearing, and doesn’t even need to take you out of your regular daily schedule. It can look like texting a neighbor when you are headed to the store to see if they need anything. Offer to take a friend’s kids to the park with you so they can have an hour to themselves. Send a quick message of encouragement to someone who had a big meeting that day.

The Small Favors Tax

When you show up for others, they feel supported and seen. Over time, that support comes back to you. Not always from the same person and not always in the same way, but it does come back. More importantly, it opens those lines of communication. Think back to how neighbors used to borrow a cup of milk or ask for a lemon from the tree next door. These simple exchanges created familiarity and care. Partnership. Today, with modern conveniences, those small asks can feel awkward. It can feel easier to order another grocery delivery, call a car service, or handle everything ourselves. Asking for a ride to the airport, a lemon, or help for an hour can feel like an imposition, but it doesn’t have to!

Don't be afraid to ask for help

Those tiny asks are not a burden. They are olive branches, outstretched arms offering connection. Isn’t another saying we hear all the time “We’re only human?” We’re all only human! We’re all truly just doing our best, and we don’t have to suffer in silence or struggle along. Tiny asks are how you can help people feel useful, trusted, and included. When we never ask for help, we unintentionally deny others the chance to show up for us, and something important goes missing in our lives.

Start Today

Let’s take steps now to build your village around ourselves. Start with one small gesture. Extend one invitation. Offer one simple kindness. Ask for help when you need it. Over time, those small actions turn into something solid. Something steady. Something that feels like home. There’s no perfect time to start participating more in each other’s lives, and being the villagers we all know and love, so let’s start today.